First Entry

To my readers,

i can't help but think who will read my blog. however, i have a certain opinion on people who read the blog of their friends and it's a positive one :) Before I start writing, I want to begin with a eulogy that i wrote a little over a year ago. It's about my grandmother, my mother's mom. It's my first ever eulogy and i hope that in this life time of mine, I wouldn't have to write much of this. I want to post it here so that this this eulogy that i saved in my computer will never be lost for I think it's an accurate picture of someone. And as my dad used to always tell me, you can't just buy your pictures when you lose them.

Enjoy! ;)

Like some of my cousins, I was taken care of by ama aside from my mother during the first ten years of my life. Ama was 68-78 years old already during those years. I ofcourse didn’t know it at that time. As one of the last grand children to be raised by her, I was (for most of the time) spared by the strict discipline that we once feared her for but grew up to respect and admire later on.

Just recently, one of her grandchildren asked me if I remembered anything about her before the last few years of her life. Looking back, I realized I don’t remember much about her during the last few years as much as I did during my earlier years a young kid for it was those earlier years of my life that I spent so much time with her and depending on her. When I was younger, everytime during dinner, I could only choose the kind and amount of food that I want only after she has put enough food on my plate and I could only walk away from the dinner table after I have finished everything that I had to eat. She was very strict on this. I would be thankful in the years to come when I realize that this influenced my taste and preference of choosing the healthier foods over junk foods (at least for most of the time) and drinking plenty of liquid everyday. I mostly showered in her bathroom for years and her bathroom always remained the same which was probably why I had to end up using Johnson’s baby shampoo until I passed 9 years old. I used to get sick a lot forcing her to spend sleepless nights watching over me when I stayed in her room or to come over to my house to bring me food, medicine and toys. But I had to pay the price when she had to inject me with suppository. Yes! You heard that right. Every new year’s eve after fireworks, she would tell us the young kids to go up and sleep. We would always be stubborn refusing to sleep but it’s a good thing we would end up always following her. However, one night, Ama had to pay the price for that when I woke up in the early morning and puked all over my own face and she had to watch over me again in her room for the next few days because I was sick.

I would like to take this opportunity to share the blessings that Ama gave me to her family. If it weren’t for ama, I don’t know if I would be able to speak fookien as fluently as I can right now. It was only when I grew up before I realized that so many Chinese in my generation can’t speak fookien anymore because their parents and families hardly speak to them in that language. Ama was undeniably the source and common ground linking her grandchildren together. I realize that it was because of her that allowed me to know the personality of all my cousins and form strong relationships with some of them. To this day, I’ve only seen few families like that. Most don’t even get to know all of their cousins. The past few years of Ama’s life may be causing us grief, sorrow and sadness right now, but the entire life of Ama, how she wisely spent it and its blessings is also enough cause for us to be happy during this difficult time including this moment and for the years to come in our life that’s ahead of us. For if it weren’t for ama, we wouldn’t be where we are today and I wouldn’t have had the good blessing to be close to some of my relatives.